Discovered yourself wearing your underwear at school, embarrassed and ashamed. Everyone talks about having this dream, and I had it myself a few times in childhood, and occasionally still dream of things I am ashamed of that never happened, and wake happy to clear the nightmare from my mind.
Your doing this to me had best not start again. I do not expect it to. I hope that enough of you know by now who and what I am, and what I feel is necessary for a world realignment. I doubt it is possible. I will do what I have to do to make your victory as bloody as possible. Make it hurt as much as I can, if that is all I can do. We need allies all across the groups I saw displayed and if not thru me than around the causes that will not go away, unless you work together as one. You have to give the people the wealth back. To a great degree. You have to come back to living within the law, most of you, professional criminals aside.
These are words for those who know; the witting... they are meant to comment on events that are within a context that the general public will more than likely not understand. I AM reclaiming my name here, and responding to the lies about me that fill the heads of the families and the governments and the spies who have filled my life.
Sunday, October 16, 2016
The memories of the mammaries
I do not still know what all your groups represent. I was too quick to lump everyone together and then think that people would get their shit together. I made mistake after mistake that I am glad I made and mournful of the dead at the same time. The latter comes easier... often. You do not give a shit about my internal thoughts.
You want to know about the plan and how to get there and all the questions you wanted to ask me before that I could not answer as ignorant as I was and still am. I know enough that my mission is clear now, stop the genocides, and aright the distribution of wealth, return power to local regions... ruled by a few universal laws, an Iron fist enforcing sane peace.
I should only come in here with a clear idea of what I want to say. I want to say I AM more grateful than I can express. I am mourning more than I can express. The past has chains though, and I will not allow them to hold me back, I will break through them and carry on, free again to continue my mission.... the endless mission. Handed to me by fate or God or blind genetics or whatever... I am aimed and the trigger has been pulled and I am in flight... there is no turning the bullet back that I have fired toward a few foreheads.
you can do as you will, for now. My only message for you is that though my past may be insurmountable in your eyes, in my GOD'S EYE I am redeemed. I have done penance of my own accord because the human part of me will forever be wounded by the deaths around me. I do not have any idea which of your sides I would join, and I cannot go along with anyone's will except that which God has given me. I will not follow, to a degree. I cannot afford to just leave this alone. You have set off within me certain genetic impulses to fight to the death, and I trust them to be where my intellect and my animal converge, making a decision every bit of me is prepared to go into with everything I can muster. Perhaps we lost the war. Perhaps I ended up in the service of the bad guys so to speak for too long to be redeemed. Am I supposed to let that bother me?
I guess, but I am not going to spend much time there. I want back into the flow of intelligence, work together as much as possible. I also want to dictate what is right for a number of years, then shatter the throne into eight billion pieces... that is not something you are going to give me unless I can convince many who feel betrayed to reassess their positions on certain matters, forgive what has happened in the divide and conquer race wars as much as possible, or keep your thoughts to yourself, instead of trying to impose them on the world... there are solutions other than mass death. There are other reasons to fight them though. Now, while I am assuming, after that song on XRT that they made sure won some award, saying how heaven only existed between a woman's legs, the refutation is on big time against the Christians who seemingly did all these horrible things. I am not sure of all of it but I know enough to see the truth in the bit I have been told, and to feel horrified to the point of having to compartmentalize my mind into thousands of rooms I seldom allow myself to enter... they come unbidden at times... but others, I lock deep away. I wanted the spoils of being a God without the benefits, which all looked like an offer by satan to my recently brainwashed mind. And still do.
This business with being on a side still worries me. It reminds me there are sides in the first place, that there has been no breakdown in the crazed beliefs that separate us, hide our commonalities. Wittgenstain wrote about how words often hide more than they illuminate, and can be used other ways.
Better a dethroned king than a leader of the likes of you, to be honest. I cannot forget that you filmed me all those years against my wishes, and my written words were taken for lies. I used lies as people use lies all the time in war, it is like having to use weapons, nothing anyone wants but required now. Not a deity to enough of you to understand that I am the Son of MAN, as well. That is your department, humans, to create a being of your time, from your morality, so he can shatter it with rebukes when he is called by God to fight. I have been called many times to fight in these fleshes, and I have defeated and been defeated by your likes before, though the cloak of lies used in the present time is formidable, and to find out a bit of what was really going required losing years of my life, inviting the humiliation of critics, who finally told me the truth my allies would not allow be spoken. I learned not enough, though I did learn that I cannot represent all of you... I saw on wgn some band of theirs come out, dressed in all the colors of the revolution, then at the end they put up in large letters, FAREWELL TO THE KING. These were groups that at one point considered me a king, though I had no idea what that meant, and felt like the king of nothing, out in the real world my actions were having reactions all over the place. Some terrible, and most that I would have been able to stop had I been told the truth of the situation long ago.
I heard the news from people with agendas, about the shadow war, and what happened. I was stupid enough to accept what they said without examination. People I owed only gratitude and redemption I fought, feeling like I was in the center of attacking enemies, not yet realizing the mixed messages came because some forces supported me, and others did not.
You want to know about the plan and how to get there and all the questions you wanted to ask me before that I could not answer as ignorant as I was and still am. I know enough that my mission is clear now, stop the genocides, and aright the distribution of wealth, return power to local regions... ruled by a few universal laws, an Iron fist enforcing sane peace.
I should only come in here with a clear idea of what I want to say. I want to say I AM more grateful than I can express. I am mourning more than I can express. The past has chains though, and I will not allow them to hold me back, I will break through them and carry on, free again to continue my mission.... the endless mission. Handed to me by fate or God or blind genetics or whatever... I am aimed and the trigger has been pulled and I am in flight... there is no turning the bullet back that I have fired toward a few foreheads.
you can do as you will, for now. My only message for you is that though my past may be insurmountable in your eyes, in my GOD'S EYE I am redeemed. I have done penance of my own accord because the human part of me will forever be wounded by the deaths around me. I do not have any idea which of your sides I would join, and I cannot go along with anyone's will except that which God has given me. I will not follow, to a degree. I cannot afford to just leave this alone. You have set off within me certain genetic impulses to fight to the death, and I trust them to be where my intellect and my animal converge, making a decision every bit of me is prepared to go into with everything I can muster. Perhaps we lost the war. Perhaps I ended up in the service of the bad guys so to speak for too long to be redeemed. Am I supposed to let that bother me?
I guess, but I am not going to spend much time there. I want back into the flow of intelligence, work together as much as possible. I also want to dictate what is right for a number of years, then shatter the throne into eight billion pieces... that is not something you are going to give me unless I can convince many who feel betrayed to reassess their positions on certain matters, forgive what has happened in the divide and conquer race wars as much as possible, or keep your thoughts to yourself, instead of trying to impose them on the world... there are solutions other than mass death. There are other reasons to fight them though. Now, while I am assuming, after that song on XRT that they made sure won some award, saying how heaven only existed between a woman's legs, the refutation is on big time against the Christians who seemingly did all these horrible things. I am not sure of all of it but I know enough to see the truth in the bit I have been told, and to feel horrified to the point of having to compartmentalize my mind into thousands of rooms I seldom allow myself to enter... they come unbidden at times... but others, I lock deep away. I wanted the spoils of being a God without the benefits, which all looked like an offer by satan to my recently brainwashed mind. And still do.
This business with being on a side still worries me. It reminds me there are sides in the first place, that there has been no breakdown in the crazed beliefs that separate us, hide our commonalities. Wittgenstain wrote about how words often hide more than they illuminate, and can be used other ways.
Better a dethroned king than a leader of the likes of you, to be honest. I cannot forget that you filmed me all those years against my wishes, and my written words were taken for lies. I used lies as people use lies all the time in war, it is like having to use weapons, nothing anyone wants but required now. Not a deity to enough of you to understand that I am the Son of MAN, as well. That is your department, humans, to create a being of your time, from your morality, so he can shatter it with rebukes when he is called by God to fight. I have been called many times to fight in these fleshes, and I have defeated and been defeated by your likes before, though the cloak of lies used in the present time is formidable, and to find out a bit of what was really going required losing years of my life, inviting the humiliation of critics, who finally told me the truth my allies would not allow be spoken. I learned not enough, though I did learn that I cannot represent all of you... I saw on wgn some band of theirs come out, dressed in all the colors of the revolution, then at the end they put up in large letters, FAREWELL TO THE KING. These were groups that at one point considered me a king, though I had no idea what that meant, and felt like the king of nothing, out in the real world my actions were having reactions all over the place. Some terrible, and most that I would have been able to stop had I been told the truth of the situation long ago.
I heard the news from people with agendas, about the shadow war, and what happened. I was stupid enough to accept what they said without examination. People I owed only gratitude and redemption I fought, feeling like I was in the center of attacking enemies, not yet realizing the mixed messages came because some forces supported me, and others did not.
Friday, September 23, 2016
Resurrection; the Stone Has Rolled Away From The Crypt
You drafted me. I am still not sure how much power I had and how much others were pretending I had, as they utilized me for their mission. I pray not too much, though I know better. Second to the thought that I WAS BEING WATCHED all the time, the idea that I was kept so ignorant that I did not understand half the time when you were telling me what you did or why, or how I was involved?
I think of a cartoon I saw once, after I had extolled the working class, showing executives and such being led into a small, brick factory with a prominent chimney high above spewing clouds of smoke. The times were such that parts of the population were being murdered. I do not know how big the groups they were whom they were telling me were gone, or anything about them really, just remember the rushing feeling when this was announced to me thru a radio broadcast... feeling like I knew these great secrets the elite were pulling off... I still had the notion that whatever side I was on had to be the right one, the Godly one, acting for justice and the working class. I did not like the implication of the cartoon, however. This spoke of large scale killing. This all came to a head when I was watching a Disney channel and they joked about killing everyone with blue eyes... or so I thought they were joking until the weather caster got mad and angrily said, HEY, I HAVE BLUE EYES. I cannot convey the feeling of suddenly knowing the words we were speaking were so deadly, or the horror they would be provoking to people with blue eyes, who I took to be Aryans or something.
Whoever I was working with at that point obviously had brown eyes, I learned. A passing woman had tersely blurted out to me, the way the spies did when they wanted to get something across to me vaguely coded, THERE ARE A LOT OF BLUE EYED PEOPLE IN ALASKA. I had written a lot about Alaska, and it seemed anywhere I had eluded to became significant to people, as Colorado did when they believed their Emperor, as one group called me, wanted the state. I do not know what happened around this time but South Park suddenly left for LA, which I knew had to be caused by something desperate. Grasping at these straws I had to build a world view.
The other groups I know even less of. Had I known the various affiliations of the groups, I obviously would not have allied or attacked them. This is why I had to write I officially burn all bridges, so now if you want one to me you will have to build it according to my specifications, or I will light it up with you on it when it comes near this island. I will never accept your definition of me, like any man accused of crimes for which he is innocent, I will fight to return my name to where it should be. I AM A REBEL in a system that took for granted I would go along. And I did before I understood what you were up to.... now I find the blame that comes my way for events I did not know about more than absurd, I find them dangerous as hell, and require me to stay in the fight, as much as that may seem the mouse squeaking at the elephant in the hope the urban tale is true... or as MAN OF GOD, WHO KNOWS HIS FATHER will not abandon him again... there are times when I seem to know that you are hurting yourselves by hurting me, in ways too cruel for me to ever think of, without serious provocation, which I considered what was done to me by intelligence with the brain washing.... when a relationship starts with a rape of your brain... the ultimate violation, having your personality and thoughts violently tampered with, a guy like me has a hard time calming down, and is going to be enraged with you most of the time.
I started out thinking the world was thinking in harmony about me, during those first few days when the tv seemed to be announcing the return of Jesus and I was enthralled and appalled by the thought that GOD and Jesus were not only real, but that I was Jesus. Seems like a dream now, but certainly not the glory days. There was no glory. There was mostly pain. I was in so many emergency wards that year, and two psychiatric wards, where people were brought in to talk to me, and I could tell by steven Colbert that I was being watched even there. They would bring people in with no problems to meet me, with one guy saying he had arranged the whole hospitalization to meet me. It was a period of intense scrutiny into the mind of this God, I believed. I am not trying to do a narrative here, but in case you do not know my awakening was HELL. The way I was treated afterward was Hell. This is why while the focus was on me, I tried to launch a revolution. Obviously one was needed if they had the media as controlled as I was seeing, and had been making plans for this shit forever... I was just personally pissed and for me that meant fight back. My poem about attacking taking no prisoners, can't afford them, I honestly wrote for the benefit of the soldier I thought might be able to blitzkrieg to a victory, not realizing that by then I had harmed the real revolution, helped usher in the Bush era of secret rule by corporations, the rise of Nazi's, etc.
The Nazi's want many of the same things I want. Socialized areas of society, and the removal of the Zionist controls on all countries by taking banking, taxing wealth, reinstating inheritance taxes, all kinds of sane shit. I will not tolerate harming innocent people, and that includes Jews. I cannot care what you think. I can care about what you do. If we are to work together there has be a strong demarcation line between those who are civilian, and who are soldier. Civilians live. We do no have to destroy entire cities, though I have.... we need a war of surgical strikes. Always aiming for the heads of the snakes on the damned mountain sized head of this hydra.
My call is to the ragged survivors who once believed we could do this, who were misled. By myself and others. I gave you terrible advice when I discover that there were all these small fighting forc \ces, based on an idea I had for protesting.... especially when I told you to go home. The fight was at a stage I had no idea about, and we are dealing with the secret prisons, not the court system, so they probably took advantage of my telling you to redeem yourselves, and as a song sings, you were told to go in and confess and then we would regroup, do this peaceful, then were killed. This is possible. The song also states there is no God and heaven is between a woman's legs. I am sure the irish band with this cia assignment was a well paid. They might have wrote the song out of hatred for what happened, though it was used in the general destruction of my name, even winning huge awards and such for the band that came off fighting my ideas, and all that rock n roll had been telling them to believe about me, until I pissed off some one for something I did not do... I get it. I have a few of the same myths in my mind.
Now I cannot give up after what I have learned so I have no choice except to rise again with my plan and see if there are enough sane people, or if they will continue to just follow the same old orders, the one backing genocide seven billion folk, who will help. There is only stopping this or dying. If you think living thru such an action will not condemn the minds of all generations to come, then you have a psychotic view, which is why this will turn into a fight, not a debate attempted to get at the truth.
I have to have the trust of the blacks enough, or should, for this hostage business to be over... I think... no one is paying any hostage money to get me free, after I i
I think of a cartoon I saw once, after I had extolled the working class, showing executives and such being led into a small, brick factory with a prominent chimney high above spewing clouds of smoke. The times were such that parts of the population were being murdered. I do not know how big the groups they were whom they were telling me were gone, or anything about them really, just remember the rushing feeling when this was announced to me thru a radio broadcast... feeling like I knew these great secrets the elite were pulling off... I still had the notion that whatever side I was on had to be the right one, the Godly one, acting for justice and the working class. I did not like the implication of the cartoon, however. This spoke of large scale killing. This all came to a head when I was watching a Disney channel and they joked about killing everyone with blue eyes... or so I thought they were joking until the weather caster got mad and angrily said, HEY, I HAVE BLUE EYES. I cannot convey the feeling of suddenly knowing the words we were speaking were so deadly, or the horror they would be provoking to people with blue eyes, who I took to be Aryans or something.
Whoever I was working with at that point obviously had brown eyes, I learned. A passing woman had tersely blurted out to me, the way the spies did when they wanted to get something across to me vaguely coded, THERE ARE A LOT OF BLUE EYED PEOPLE IN ALASKA. I had written a lot about Alaska, and it seemed anywhere I had eluded to became significant to people, as Colorado did when they believed their Emperor, as one group called me, wanted the state. I do not know what happened around this time but South Park suddenly left for LA, which I knew had to be caused by something desperate. Grasping at these straws I had to build a world view.
The other groups I know even less of. Had I known the various affiliations of the groups, I obviously would not have allied or attacked them. This is why I had to write I officially burn all bridges, so now if you want one to me you will have to build it according to my specifications, or I will light it up with you on it when it comes near this island. I will never accept your definition of me, like any man accused of crimes for which he is innocent, I will fight to return my name to where it should be. I AM A REBEL in a system that took for granted I would go along. And I did before I understood what you were up to.... now I find the blame that comes my way for events I did not know about more than absurd, I find them dangerous as hell, and require me to stay in the fight, as much as that may seem the mouse squeaking at the elephant in the hope the urban tale is true... or as MAN OF GOD, WHO KNOWS HIS FATHER will not abandon him again... there are times when I seem to know that you are hurting yourselves by hurting me, in ways too cruel for me to ever think of, without serious provocation, which I considered what was done to me by intelligence with the brain washing.... when a relationship starts with a rape of your brain... the ultimate violation, having your personality and thoughts violently tampered with, a guy like me has a hard time calming down, and is going to be enraged with you most of the time.
I started out thinking the world was thinking in harmony about me, during those first few days when the tv seemed to be announcing the return of Jesus and I was enthralled and appalled by the thought that GOD and Jesus were not only real, but that I was Jesus. Seems like a dream now, but certainly not the glory days. There was no glory. There was mostly pain. I was in so many emergency wards that year, and two psychiatric wards, where people were brought in to talk to me, and I could tell by steven Colbert that I was being watched even there. They would bring people in with no problems to meet me, with one guy saying he had arranged the whole hospitalization to meet me. It was a period of intense scrutiny into the mind of this God, I believed. I am not trying to do a narrative here, but in case you do not know my awakening was HELL. The way I was treated afterward was Hell. This is why while the focus was on me, I tried to launch a revolution. Obviously one was needed if they had the media as controlled as I was seeing, and had been making plans for this shit forever... I was just personally pissed and for me that meant fight back. My poem about attacking taking no prisoners, can't afford them, I honestly wrote for the benefit of the soldier I thought might be able to blitzkrieg to a victory, not realizing that by then I had harmed the real revolution, helped usher in the Bush era of secret rule by corporations, the rise of Nazi's, etc.
The Nazi's want many of the same things I want. Socialized areas of society, and the removal of the Zionist controls on all countries by taking banking, taxing wealth, reinstating inheritance taxes, all kinds of sane shit. I will not tolerate harming innocent people, and that includes Jews. I cannot care what you think. I can care about what you do. If we are to work together there has be a strong demarcation line between those who are civilian, and who are soldier. Civilians live. We do no have to destroy entire cities, though I have.... we need a war of surgical strikes. Always aiming for the heads of the snakes on the damned mountain sized head of this hydra.
My call is to the ragged survivors who once believed we could do this, who were misled. By myself and others. I gave you terrible advice when I discover that there were all these small fighting forc \ces, based on an idea I had for protesting.... especially when I told you to go home. The fight was at a stage I had no idea about, and we are dealing with the secret prisons, not the court system, so they probably took advantage of my telling you to redeem yourselves, and as a song sings, you were told to go in and confess and then we would regroup, do this peaceful, then were killed. This is possible. The song also states there is no God and heaven is between a woman's legs. I am sure the irish band with this cia assignment was a well paid. They might have wrote the song out of hatred for what happened, though it was used in the general destruction of my name, even winning huge awards and such for the band that came off fighting my ideas, and all that rock n roll had been telling them to believe about me, until I pissed off some one for something I did not do... I get it. I have a few of the same myths in my mind.
Now I cannot give up after what I have learned so I have no choice except to rise again with my plan and see if there are enough sane people, or if they will continue to just follow the same old orders, the one backing genocide seven billion folk, who will help. There is only stopping this or dying. If you think living thru such an action will not condemn the minds of all generations to come, then you have a psychotic view, which is why this will turn into a fight, not a debate attempted to get at the truth.
I have to have the trust of the blacks enough, or should, for this hostage business to be over... I think... no one is paying any hostage money to get me free, after I i
Wednesday, September 21, 2016
THE WEBCAM
I was trying to drive you off when I masturbated. I kept threatening you with doing something really disgusting if you did not stop filming me. I am still pissed and will die this way over the way certain groups reacted to this; instead of listening to an easy message, my words, saying, "SOME PARTS OF LIFE ARE X RATED." I WOULD NOT HAVE DONE THIS HAD I KNOWN THE EXTENT OF THE AUDIENCE, and if you do not know this about me by now, I am pretty much done with your lying, deluded ass. Why would someone who NEVER even spoke much about his sex life, let alone show any sign of being an exhibitionist, etc... suddenly do what I did? I still feel sorry for the fine actor from Modern Families who did me the favor of breaking the fourth wall, though just the second I realized you were watching me in my house, which occurred when I saw you show someone, from the perspective of my tv where at least one bug was located, putting on a green housecoat like I had been wearing. The pitifulness of my situation struck me hard. I reacted in a deadly rage, and would have killed over this. I heard someone in south korea was fired over this, where evidently I was a big hit due to the gay community over there being so repressed, and here I was protecting gays at every turn, as I have my whole life, and it would be hypocritical with my past to think I should criticize someone for natural urges.
I was trying as hard as I could to live my life as if you were not watching me, which is why I bristled so much when people told me to watch what I said and shit like that. That is true in public, but when your house has been invaded, as mine was, and your life basically raped, I felt I should be particularly defiant. I expected to make money off my fame, instead you gave me the persona of the joker, then some psycho with a nuclear bomb holding the city hostage, and then finally superman, who you had batman kill.... stupid. I did not watch that movie because the others pissed me off so much I am waiting until it is free and I HAVE PLENTY OF DRUGS BETWEEN ME AND REALITY as a buffer for my rage. I have never asked to be worshipped, etc... never thought a throw away line in a short story, that I would edit, and was surprised was even there, would cause libraries to close.
I have a very difficult time seeing any of this from the perspective of watchers and believers. I feel like I can relate though to those who hate me, and believe their faith was abused. When Ben called me up and told me two guys I knew had went fishing and caught two types of fish, I believe a brown and red trout, perhaps... the added he saw a science fiction movie about people who lived underground and were so pissed when they came out that some of them had to be shot. This was during a very suspicious period in my life, when a lot of people were down on me and trying to tie me to the slaughter of the people who had been worshipping me, who I did not even know about. That I never had a chance to talk to these people, as I would have had I known they existed, is a tragedy that many should be hung over. Including those two irish drunks in Rogers Park, but that would open a can of vipers that you fear, of course. Can not have anything that happened to me surface, because I am now top secret.
You made me a hero for awhile, then a villain... you are a hero when you are winning no matter how much death is attached to you... and a villain when you are losing. The big war I started then refused to lead, mostly because you took me by surprise. The last thing in the world I thought would happen was a revolution. After the fiasco in 07, which again, I learned about way too late to do the right thing. I am not angry I saved the president, because I never set out to harm the puppets in politics, and puppet he is because I had those strings for awhile... though I did not know it.
I feel particularly bad toward Mexico and Puerto Rico and the other countries who stood behind me even as I acted the fool on a world wide webcam that was evidently much more of a hit than I can still really deal with. My life shows none of the outer trappings of the millions I was offered, or the time when states all over the country were inviting me to come live there. They were heady times, no doubt, but I wrote to you very early on DO NOT GIVE ME POWER... but you did. I probably did need it, but that was not what I set out to do when the Christ was pulsing thru me, and the words of God were etched on the human mind once again directly from the source. I still get this feeling at times, still know I AM. It does not matter if I am the only one in the world who believes in me with exception of God, and he told me many years ago, while speaking to John the Baptist, that I am his beloved son.... I wonder about that line while I suffered on the cross. I really expected the sky to open and angels to save me. The circumstances were very different than the bible writes them up, which is rather easy to see if you even do the slightest bit of research of how the Romans treated the Jews. For one, there was no holiday freeing a Jew every year... and I was crucified for being a ZEALOT, a revolutionary who did want to pay taxes to Rome and support their unholy icons, the worst of which was the roman leader who claimed God head for himself.
The thing about me is that I do not like to announce my presence, until the exact right time. You humans made the mistake of brainwashing, to make me more moral... me... who had lived more moral than any of you hypocrites could ever understand. For this you had to pay and you did. Should you look at the actions of all who took advantage of me, abused me, etc... you will see the CURSE OF GOD destroying them one brick at a time. I told the TRIBUNE when they wrote an article saying I had no wisdom, and was merely internet savvy, I did not buy it, just looked at it in the store... I did not need to read what my critics were saying at that point because I knew I was being misjudged and did not want to throw gasoline on the fire, so to speak. I did get home and tell you the tribune was done.... and now a hostile take over almost got them, and another will be alone, and another perhaps, before the mighty tribune is hollowed out and turned into other, basically destroyed.
You took me for too left and you took me for too right. When you had a show suggesting I was Ralph from the simpsons, because of my affiliation with the police, and the republicans and democrats wanted me to run for office, and someone came on my tv with a dull gray background and said he would demand to see all the prescriptions for anyone running for office. Fighting the chronic pain I for a brief period went to two doctors, and occasionally ran out early on the tramadol and ordered them on line. I was taking way too many that is for sure. I do not do anything of the sort anymore.
Now is the time you could have came to me and told me I was such and such and had a shot at leading these various groups, or just working with them, and I would be very honored and humbled, as I am by the thought of all those who put their belief in me. I can only say I thought I could see through the forest of lies, but I could not. I was still trapped in the MARK mentality that is bred into humans around the planet, so they never fight the power structure.
I do not know what happened to the people I worked with... I know some, like WXRT, who provided music that I would find strangely mirrored my life, and was this started spoke directly to me once in awhile. I did not know what they were up to either, just knew they were on my side, our fates tied together. THEN they turned on me, like the rest of the world, when I made sure that people could criticize me, which was the only way I learned what was going on. I think God for the brave people in the media, etc, who came to my aide. I am sorry that I did know enough to function properly....
I do have a great welling up of love and humility and respect and horror and responsibility when I THINK of those who died, those who tore up their roots and hit the streets... we should have held the country when we could, though that will only happen when the blacks and whites and reds and yellows or a certain philosophy, and more importantly economic victims of the elites politics of hoarding wealth, come together. WE will win again. They may have purged the navy, and my vague much qualified speech about forgiveness and such.... a song them came out on XRT, from some unknown Irish band that sold their soul to write a CIA hit, slamming all religion and saying the only heaven was between a woman's legs. They won all kinds of awards and such, in a mission to discredit me, and all religion.
I keep telling you that you must not lose your religion, no matte what you think of me. My father is God, and he is your creator, and I have experienced him in my life more times than my memory allows me to count.... God Bless you all. I will never allow the webcam again unless the revolution or the religious require such a thing, and then it must be done by me, and only at certain times. When you told me and it finally sunk in that children were watching, it came to me that if I HAD kown about that I would have quit cursing while around them, and told the nice stories, not scared the holy head out of them. That was for those who were ad pressedl
I was trying as hard as I could to live my life as if you were not watching me, which is why I bristled so much when people told me to watch what I said and shit like that. That is true in public, but when your house has been invaded, as mine was, and your life basically raped, I felt I should be particularly defiant. I expected to make money off my fame, instead you gave me the persona of the joker, then some psycho with a nuclear bomb holding the city hostage, and then finally superman, who you had batman kill.... stupid. I did not watch that movie because the others pissed me off so much I am waiting until it is free and I HAVE PLENTY OF DRUGS BETWEEN ME AND REALITY as a buffer for my rage. I have never asked to be worshipped, etc... never thought a throw away line in a short story, that I would edit, and was surprised was even there, would cause libraries to close.
I have a very difficult time seeing any of this from the perspective of watchers and believers. I feel like I can relate though to those who hate me, and believe their faith was abused. When Ben called me up and told me two guys I knew had went fishing and caught two types of fish, I believe a brown and red trout, perhaps... the added he saw a science fiction movie about people who lived underground and were so pissed when they came out that some of them had to be shot. This was during a very suspicious period in my life, when a lot of people were down on me and trying to tie me to the slaughter of the people who had been worshipping me, who I did not even know about. That I never had a chance to talk to these people, as I would have had I known they existed, is a tragedy that many should be hung over. Including those two irish drunks in Rogers Park, but that would open a can of vipers that you fear, of course. Can not have anything that happened to me surface, because I am now top secret.
You made me a hero for awhile, then a villain... you are a hero when you are winning no matter how much death is attached to you... and a villain when you are losing. The big war I started then refused to lead, mostly because you took me by surprise. The last thing in the world I thought would happen was a revolution. After the fiasco in 07, which again, I learned about way too late to do the right thing. I am not angry I saved the president, because I never set out to harm the puppets in politics, and puppet he is because I had those strings for awhile... though I did not know it.
I feel particularly bad toward Mexico and Puerto Rico and the other countries who stood behind me even as I acted the fool on a world wide webcam that was evidently much more of a hit than I can still really deal with. My life shows none of the outer trappings of the millions I was offered, or the time when states all over the country were inviting me to come live there. They were heady times, no doubt, but I wrote to you very early on DO NOT GIVE ME POWER... but you did. I probably did need it, but that was not what I set out to do when the Christ was pulsing thru me, and the words of God were etched on the human mind once again directly from the source. I still get this feeling at times, still know I AM. It does not matter if I am the only one in the world who believes in me with exception of God, and he told me many years ago, while speaking to John the Baptist, that I am his beloved son.... I wonder about that line while I suffered on the cross. I really expected the sky to open and angels to save me. The circumstances were very different than the bible writes them up, which is rather easy to see if you even do the slightest bit of research of how the Romans treated the Jews. For one, there was no holiday freeing a Jew every year... and I was crucified for being a ZEALOT, a revolutionary who did want to pay taxes to Rome and support their unholy icons, the worst of which was the roman leader who claimed God head for himself.
The thing about me is that I do not like to announce my presence, until the exact right time. You humans made the mistake of brainwashing, to make me more moral... me... who had lived more moral than any of you hypocrites could ever understand. For this you had to pay and you did. Should you look at the actions of all who took advantage of me, abused me, etc... you will see the CURSE OF GOD destroying them one brick at a time. I told the TRIBUNE when they wrote an article saying I had no wisdom, and was merely internet savvy, I did not buy it, just looked at it in the store... I did not need to read what my critics were saying at that point because I knew I was being misjudged and did not want to throw gasoline on the fire, so to speak. I did get home and tell you the tribune was done.... and now a hostile take over almost got them, and another will be alone, and another perhaps, before the mighty tribune is hollowed out and turned into other, basically destroyed.
You took me for too left and you took me for too right. When you had a show suggesting I was Ralph from the simpsons, because of my affiliation with the police, and the republicans and democrats wanted me to run for office, and someone came on my tv with a dull gray background and said he would demand to see all the prescriptions for anyone running for office. Fighting the chronic pain I for a brief period went to two doctors, and occasionally ran out early on the tramadol and ordered them on line. I was taking way too many that is for sure. I do not do anything of the sort anymore.
Now is the time you could have came to me and told me I was such and such and had a shot at leading these various groups, or just working with them, and I would be very honored and humbled, as I am by the thought of all those who put their belief in me. I can only say I thought I could see through the forest of lies, but I could not. I was still trapped in the MARK mentality that is bred into humans around the planet, so they never fight the power structure.
I do not know what happened to the people I worked with... I know some, like WXRT, who provided music that I would find strangely mirrored my life, and was this started spoke directly to me once in awhile. I did not know what they were up to either, just knew they were on my side, our fates tied together. THEN they turned on me, like the rest of the world, when I made sure that people could criticize me, which was the only way I learned what was going on. I think God for the brave people in the media, etc, who came to my aide. I am sorry that I did know enough to function properly....
I do have a great welling up of love and humility and respect and horror and responsibility when I THINK of those who died, those who tore up their roots and hit the streets... we should have held the country when we could, though that will only happen when the blacks and whites and reds and yellows or a certain philosophy, and more importantly economic victims of the elites politics of hoarding wealth, come together. WE will win again. They may have purged the navy, and my vague much qualified speech about forgiveness and such.... a song them came out on XRT, from some unknown Irish band that sold their soul to write a CIA hit, slamming all religion and saying the only heaven was between a woman's legs. They won all kinds of awards and such, in a mission to discredit me, and all religion.
I keep telling you that you must not lose your religion, no matte what you think of me. My father is God, and he is your creator, and I have experienced him in my life more times than my memory allows me to count.... God Bless you all. I will never allow the webcam again unless the revolution or the religious require such a thing, and then it must be done by me, and only at certain times. When you told me and it finally sunk in that children were watching, it came to me that if I HAD kown about that I would have quit cursing while around them, and told the nice stories, not scared the holy head out of them. That was for those who were ad pressedl
Monday, September 12, 2016
Big Boy
Evacuate primary personal from a, e, h.... 6760-- 448007. Resurrect in 3 days. Chi town primary directive in place.
Monday, August 22, 2016
cutting the balls off Robin
The truth has finally come home to me, after all this time... the path to use to peace on this world, that will have to be hacked through a forest of war hawks and war profiteers and their puppets in Washington and starting a new government, a new path.... where I will lead. With the assistance of advisors from every force, each to bring their concerns. I will not judge you on anything other than your present and future affairs, forgiving your past, where you have hated me, killed my people.... became the evil that the rest of us have to rise up and take down.
I come back to this years later thinking no such cypher of power is needed, I pray...
THIS IS YOUR LAST OFFER OF REDEMPTION BEFORE JUDGEMENT.
I would not accept your terms. I walked through this yelling at his tv sometimes, still unsure why he was being watched, or why people thought I was doing something.... which I knew not how to do at that time, and am still fairly ignorant. I do not know have to know the players to know how to bring peace. Bringing peace is universal to all humans. In this case, the world will be drastically changed, with populations moved around, to places where there is abundance of land, Alaska and Russia come to mind, where all can work or be taken care with ease.
Not dreams. Futures we can create together. WE MUST RECLAIM THE MONEY BEING SUCKE INTO THE MILITARY INDUSTRIAL BUDGET.
The Christen Resistance to the Zionist threat has a good ring to it.....
Follow the Union path as much as possible, but know the opposition has to be hit where it hurts, never feel safe. Do as you find safe but know the enemy has finally made themselves known to me, something I was slow in gathering, because I grew up in the cesspool of lies that is the USA media and educational system.
I come back to this years later thinking no such cypher of power is needed, I pray...
THIS IS YOUR LAST OFFER OF REDEMPTION BEFORE JUDGEMENT.
I would not accept your terms. I walked through this yelling at his tv sometimes, still unsure why he was being watched, or why people thought I was doing something.... which I knew not how to do at that time, and am still fairly ignorant. I do not know have to know the players to know how to bring peace. Bringing peace is universal to all humans. In this case, the world will be drastically changed, with populations moved around, to places where there is abundance of land, Alaska and Russia come to mind, where all can work or be taken care with ease.
Not dreams. Futures we can create together. WE MUST RECLAIM THE MONEY BEING SUCKE INTO THE MILITARY INDUSTRIAL BUDGET.
The Christen Resistance to the Zionist threat has a good ring to it.....
Follow the Union path as much as possible, but know the opposition has to be hit where it hurts, never feel safe. Do as you find safe but know the enemy has finally made themselves known to me, something I was slow in gathering, because I grew up in the cesspool of lies that is the USA media and educational system.
Monday, August 15, 2016
I am revealing to you the language of the threat.
I will restart this as many times as I have to, with as small or as large of a force as I command among the living. You still have no idea of what I am about to unleash on this world... I think know enough now. You had best hope I am right. My sympathies to those who go against me... you will not get them again.
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