Resurrection; the Stone Has Rolled Away From The Crypt

You drafted me.  I am still not sure how much power I had and how much others were pretending I had, as they utilized me for their mission.  I pray not too much, though I know better.  Second to the thought that I WAS BEING WATCHED all the time, the idea that I was kept so ignorant that I did not understand half the time when you were telling me what you did or why, or how I was involved?

I think of a cartoon I saw once, after I had extolled the working class, showing executives and such being led into a small, brick factory with a prominent chimney high above spewing clouds of smoke.  The times were such that parts of the population were being murdered.  I do not know how big the groups they were whom they were telling me were gone, or anything about them really, just remember the rushing feeling when this was announced to me thru a radio broadcast...  feeling like I knew these great secrets the elite were pulling off...  I still had the notion that whatever side I was on had to be the right one, the Godly one, acting for justice and the working class.  I did not like the implication of the cartoon, however.  This spoke of large scale killing.  This all came to a head when I was watching a Disney channel and they joked about killing everyone with blue eyes... or so I thought they were joking until the weather caster got mad and angrily said, HEY, I HAVE BLUE EYES.  I cannot convey the feeling of suddenly knowing the words we were speaking were so deadly, or the horror they would be provoking to people with blue eyes, who I took to be Aryans or something.

Whoever I was working with at that point obviously had brown eyes, I learned.  A passing woman had tersely blurted out to me, the way the spies did when they wanted to get something across to me vaguely coded, THERE ARE A LOT OF BLUE EYED PEOPLE IN ALASKA.  I had written a lot about Alaska, and it seemed anywhere I had eluded to became significant to people, as Colorado did when they believed their Emperor, as one group called me, wanted the state.  I do not know what happened around this time but South Park suddenly left for LA, which I knew had to be caused by something desperate.  Grasping at these straws  I had to build a world view.

The other groups I know even less of.  Had I known the various affiliations of the groups, I obviously would not have allied or attacked them.  This is why I had to write I officially burn all bridges, so now if you want one to me you will have to build it according to my specifications, or I will light it up with you on it when it comes near this island.  I will never accept your definition of me, like any man accused of crimes for which he is innocent, I will fight to return my name to where it should be.   I AM A REBEL in a system that took for granted I would go along.  And I did before I understood what you were up to....  now I find the blame that comes my way for events I did not know about more than absurd, I find them dangerous as hell, and require me to stay in the fight, as much as that may seem the mouse squeaking at the elephant in the hope the urban tale is true...  or as  MAN OF GOD, WHO KNOWS HIS FATHER will not abandon him again... there are times when I seem to know that you are hurting yourselves by hurting me, in ways too cruel for me to ever think of, without serious provocation, which I considered what was done to me by intelligence with the brain washing.... when a relationship starts with a rape of your brain...  the ultimate violation, having your personality and thoughts violently tampered with, a guy like me has a hard time calming down, and is going to be enraged with you most of the time.

I started out thinking the world was thinking in harmony about me, during those first few days when the tv seemed to be announcing the return of Jesus and I was enthralled and appalled by the thought that GOD and Jesus were not only real, but that I was Jesus.  Seems like a dream now, but certainly not the glory days.   There was no glory.  There was mostly pain.  I was in so many emergency wards that year, and two psychiatric wards, where people were brought in to talk to me, and I could tell by steven Colbert that I was being watched even there.   They would bring people in with no problems to meet me, with one guy saying he had arranged the whole hospitalization to meet me.   It was a period of intense scrutiny into the mind of this God, I believed.   I am not trying to do a narrative here, but in case you do not know my awakening was HELL.  The way I was treated afterward was Hell.   This is why while the focus was on me, I tried to launch a revolution.  Obviously one was needed if they had the media as controlled as I was seeing, and had been making plans for this shit forever...  I was just personally pissed and for me that meant fight back.   My poem about attacking taking no prisoners, can't afford them, I honestly wrote for the benefit of the soldier I thought might be able to blitzkrieg to a victory, not realizing that by then I had harmed the real revolution, helped usher in the Bush era of secret rule by corporations, the rise of Nazi's, etc.

The Nazi's want many of the same things I want.  Socialized areas of society, and the removal of the Zionist controls on all countries by taking banking, taxing wealth, reinstating inheritance taxes, all kinds of sane shit.  I will not tolerate harming innocent people, and that includes Jews.   I cannot care what you think.  I can care about what you do.  If we are to work together there has be a strong demarcation line between those who are civilian, and who are soldier.  Civilians live.  We do no have to destroy entire cities, though I have....  we need a war of surgical strikes.   Always aiming for the heads of the snakes on the damned mountain sized head of this hydra.

My call is to the ragged survivors who once believed we could do this, who were misled.  By myself and others.   I gave you terrible advice when I discover that there were all these small fighting forc \ces, based on an idea I had for protesting....  especially when I told you to go home.  The fight was at a stage I had no idea about, and we are dealing with the secret prisons, not the court system, so they probably took advantage of my telling you to redeem yourselves, and as a song sings, you were told to go in and confess and then we would regroup, do this peaceful, then were killed.   This is possible.  The song also states there is no God and heaven is between a woman's legs.   I am sure the irish band with this cia assignment was a well paid.  They might have wrote the song out of hatred for what happened, though it was used in the general destruction of my name, even winning huge awards and such for the band that came off fighting my ideas, and all that rock n roll had been telling them to believe about me, until I pissed off  some one for something I did not do...  I get it.  I have a few of the same myths in my mind. 

Now I cannot give up after what I have learned so I have no choice except to rise again with my plan and see if there are enough sane people, or if they will continue to just follow the same old orders, the one backing genocide seven billion folk, who will help.  There is only stopping this or dying.   If you think living thru such an action will not condemn the minds of all generations to come, then you have a psychotic view, which is why this will turn into a fight, not a debate attempted to get at the truth.

I have to have the trust of the blacks enough, or should, for this hostage business to be over...  I think...  no one is paying any hostage money to get me free, after I i