CANADA, DENVER, and tears for life

There was a guard killed on the Canadian boarder.  A sign that I had said we had enemies there, one of the trains of pain.   I was talking a lot about sniper rifles and gasoline at that point.  For a couple reasons.  The main was to target specific people, the gasoline was tucked in a paragraph which I knew would effect certain people differently --  agent provocateur.   I had never used this phrase before, and it was meant to alert certain people not to follow this order, because it was traceable, and I was hoping to weed out the mentally ill and some others who would follow this order... and later on the news I heard of some parents who were grateful that their son, who was described as mentally unstable, in Colorado, was found with twenty gallons of gas...  I am sorry son, but I did not know what was going on in Colorado, and after what I heard I expected the worst.

I went for Canada because of a train.   A town later was obliterated to stop that train.  This is a horror we are all going to have to live with, but I would do the same thing again and will if I have to.  NOTHING OF THIS SORT WILL BE TOLERATED.   I WILL MAKE PEACE NO MATTER HOW MANY PEOPLE DIE TO GET US THERE.   Peace thru war is about all I have ever seen work...  other things do work, but not with heavily armed psychos who think they can win.... then it is all a slave revolt, and that is my expertise.

I need to go back to Colorado, because once again Noble people did terrible things with a mission in mind that they trusted...   and due to the lack of communication with me, and the mistake of making an enemy in the black community, which has a history I am not even aware of, though I would have went willing to stop the killing.   I will not offer my life up to anyone.  That is not my decision to make and I do not like the consequences that will ensue if such an attempt is even made, though I look forward to this as well.  Know I will act as you have no idea I can, and pray to whatever depraved part of you that wants to live that you do not find out any time soon, though it seems almost inevitable.

I kept trying to please you people, all sides... until you told me of the violence, then I felt like I had a paring knife and was surrounded by psychos with tanks, and my words were the only way to stop you... and to get you firing on one another, instead of me.  Not that I am going to take credit anymore for my decisions.  That was all black psy-op's before.   I let you think I meant to do something, but as I realized when you explained to me what was going on, and blaming it one me -- who seemed to be the only one for awhile who knew it was not me, THIS MUST BE GOD...  I was rather awe inspired by that thought, and I held onto that rock in the flood of hellfire that was flowing all around me, spewed from the mouth of the demons trying to kill me.

I think you know by now that humans do not have the power to kill me.  I warn you not to try because of the consequences to you....  and my cats, and family.   I will welcome being back in spirit, but that is not coming anytime soon..  There is way too much to do.  I even pray sometines that my vision was for the next life, not this one, and the scientific burden can go to my second and I can die an old man.

I can never grieve enough for what has been done by those of you who martyred yourself.  Early on and later.   I would not have done many things if I had known what was happening -- how many times have I written that ...  but that is not what was supposed to happen.  I was not supposed to be used by the group that is behind this mayhem.  God would not allow this.   All your plans to use me are done and discredited by most.

You also know I am not going to be a king....  why I went back and forth on this does not matter.  I guess there were times I used it for one thing, other times another... the main point is that you would not allow me what I wanted, a round table discussion with the leaders and experts, because you in power do not want what is right, you want what pleases you specifically...   what enriches you in what will be dust one day.  Philosophy is obviously not your strong point.   In fact you do not have any strong points as far as I can tell.   YOU ARE VERY WEAKS, YOU HUMANS.

I kept distancing myself from humans, disallowing my own humanity, which was more than likely another way of distancing myself from the mayhem.  I doubt you care much about my psychological musings, but I am very different than most of you, and very similar to....  well, in ways some of you.  Others we seem to have nothing in common at all.   I have never been able to be a fanatic.  I read too many books about cults and never trusted religion was right -- I could never find being gay to be a sin, and other matters.   I still feel this way.  I could certainly never see one group of humans as superior to others.   All sorts of things people seem able to believe quite naturally seem to be bullshit to me.  I do not know why this is, if it was all the novels, who I innately am -- a person who can see the truth when offered it as an option...   usually.   I think a lot about whether what I am is more human than spirit.  My conclusion is that this is the chicken and the egg...  what does any of that matter?

To many of you it seems to matter a lot whether I am Christ or not.   I tell you I am Scott, and that has to be enough.   What you have been told about me to manipulate you into seeing me a certain way has destroyed the term Christ for me, except as an inspiring figure who woke up to a few truths, though has been buried in lies ever since.  I am the son of God, but I am different than you have been told I would be, and also almost exactly the same.

If you strip away the lies of the bible, and simply look at  few things I said as Jesus, LIKE THE GOLDEN RULE, build you house on Rock, love they neighbor as thyself, and a few others...  especially throw out the old salt.  This has been done only to shape the holy books into the visions of man for his own benefit, not the benefit of God.  Ways to rule were added, laws that meant nothing to me and never will were added.

I write now for the police who abandoned me after the filming.   I understand, and would have done the same thing.... but CONTEXT IS HOW AN EVENT IS DEFINED.  LIKE THE BIBLE SAYS, THE NAKED MAN IS NOT BLAMED, IT IS THOSE WHO WATCHED THE NAKED MAN...  I did not want you watching me and did that to make the point that you should not be watching me, and obviously I did not know who was watching or you would never have seen what you did.   I am growing angry just thinking about your comments about WHY did you put your dresser in front of the camera?   I had no other place to put that thing, and my back was in too much pain to clean out that apartment.  That is the entire story.   I did not have any conception of how you were looking at me obviously, or it never would have happened.  If you look at my public behavior, and then how I behaved in my apartment, you will have a much better idea of who I am.  How would you feel if suddenly groups you did not know about were filming you?   Would you take it as torture?   Every time you said something to me about how I should behave better or do something with the lights I would get so pissed, thinking HOW THE HELL CAN YOU THINK I WOULD CATER TO THIS CRIME YOU ARE PERPETUATING????    To think I wanted this???????

I wanted like every sane person does to have control of the person who I projected out into public, which you can read in my writing.  I was not always truthful, though my ability to lie has been burned out of me... why would I have ever told one exaggeration if I knew you were watching me... it is just basic logic, but I do not expect you to be logical.   People who fight one another over skin  tone are not logical.  People who think they are superior, not just lucky or blessed or whatever for reasons not their own, are not logiccal.  Logic is very important to me.  I tried to do what was logical but I did not have enough intelligence to do so,.


I feel horrible for those who tried to help me, and were turned into monsters...  I feel horrible for the people who were set upon by these monsters -- myself included.  I became too brutal.  You made me feel like crying was wrong.  That is bullshit.  You should have all been bawling your eyes out over what has happened in this world.  That first night when I listened to John Denver and cried thinking about David Gilbert was a miracle to me, because I never cry.  Just not in me....  or it is buried under too many reasons I should have cried--there are enough to stay in tears for life, but I chose not to live that way.

I see now why you criticized me for this,, because you cater to the lowest common denominator..  Real men cry, and people who act like they do not are just idiots.   I am not going to become a politician to cater to you. 

I do want you all to know that we must get prepared to write a new bible, but that must not include everything I have ever said or done.... 

I also should finish the police report here.   I still respect you, will still protect you, will never turn my back on you as you did me.   I consider what you did afterwards to be a great sin that you need to redeem yourself for, but again, I would have done the same....   I would never have placed you in the position you were.  Period.   It is my prayer that you will realize that your work, as well as the military, are still pillars in saving this country, which will lead to saving the world.   You are more than a standing army, you are an example, and we need to clean this shit off your image.  Some of that came from your being tricked into the race matter.  We need to work beyond that.   I do not consider you evil Irish who are my enemy or something   I hope you do not consider me your enemy, though you might....   I protected your Catholic church and will continue to do so as long as the Pope continues taking my suggestions.   We will disagree,, but that is fine.  People must have the free will to decide how they wish to live.  God will love and save them no matter what they have done.

And I will create their hell for them for a long, long moment before I let them out to be reborn, or to leave, depending on what the father wishes.   I pray for your safety and offer my sincere condolences for those of you who fell, and I thank you for your assistance, and am sorry I put you in the position I did.   I am also terribly sorry for those you targeted over what you saw... they deserved better, I assume. 














That none of you would have done what you did if I had not felt like the world was my enemy and I was not being listened to, is an item to be taken up another day, and I think there will be guillotines involved, unless those who I think will never redeem themselves surprise me.