ONLY LOVE SHOULD HARM YOU

A Soldiers should love few people and STRIVE to allow only them to emotionally harm you.

Trump is trying to incite a civil war, using not those people you see at his rallies...  he will use trained underground groups who are experts at body removal, and have been lawless so long their ruthlessness is unbounded by any moral qualms.  I ended up working with this group, until I knew better, when I was in a state of complete ignorance, and being used as a puppet, a pretend person who the CIA could film and then say I was giving secret orders from something I did, or drew.... even something as stupid as my putting out a toy, a lobster --  under our little fake Christmas tree,  with other beanie babies, which M. collected, along with other toys --  inspired ruthless torture with tanning booths.

  I only found out when my Jewish pharmacist was attacked. I do not know how the hell they got that from anything I said or they filmed... and I was pissed as hell about it... and told the spies bugging me as much.  They bring up Nazi's who are our friends when I say protect the Jews, but I never back down, same later with the blacks.   I did not know I had no control of any of what they were doing.  Though one day someone broke into my apartment and set a flyer on my desk, saying Nazi's had control...  bush being one of them.  And later, when I discovered there really is this huge network of Nazi's that no one could imagine, who are in the white house being fetted at times...   huge, growing.  The tRump is the tip of an underground fourth reich of sorts.  I do not care what a person wishes to think.  That is their business.  I care how they act.  I believed my revolutionary mission required that I work with anyone who could bring order, and socialism, to this country.  But I was way out of my league, really...  I knew nothing or it would not have happened.  This is my defense, and all my actions prove this.  I AM HATED for the sins of others, and my own brutal actions at times.   I saved London and New York from being bombed.  To kill civilians like that over Gold...  over my disliking a monarchy and making fun of them, after they were all offended before, when they all thought we were making up.

I had no clue there was a war needed with them, let alone that in our own country I could give orders that would actually be taken, so many seemed ignored.  I got occasional reports of people mimicking my words, a mother saying her son lived to help the future...  after I wrote a lot about saving the future.   Many other things.  Always there was Supernatural.  They showed me much and I own them much and NO I DO NOT THINK YOU ARE JUST A SHOW...  though there is that part of me that wants you to be, of course.  I do not know at this point if you hate me or love me.  You told me so much that if I had realized you were not taking my word and dramatizing them.  Or what happened to me and dramatized it...  until I learned better.  Until you shouted to me you were not the enemy, when I did not know who was who and I took your word.

I cannot see the world out there...   you are on the other side off the glass, I am in a zoo.  Where I have been kept, as all around me hell broke loose, except in the city of Children.  That first summer you wanted me to walk around and be this liberal Christ or something.   I am not sure how many sides there were to that.  People who believed I was the Christ, an Angel, an Alien, or a Hybrid, or many things....  or the people who duped them into believing such things, and the people who did not care what I am, I was causing problems because so many believe I am the son of God, and that I gave these crazy ass orders... when no, I would not do that.   I would not have made the decisions I did if I had known more in the context of war so I have to trust God had some plan that I was not told about, because I would not go along as soon as I heard of the evil around me.   I AM not a criminal, though I am sympathetic to all criminals...  I am not many things you think, I resent the most the pedophile stuff you accused me of... very low, after what I had been thru in my life.

But you wanted to hurt me any way you could.  Now you can't.  I watch or change the chanel depending on my mood.  The drawing of the armless Jesus, befuddled, a pirate, on a river of blood with heads floating at his feet.  A simple drawing on lined paper.  There is so much in there.  The first time I was thinking anything Bush did would be against me, so I stopped the CIA from being punished for chopping the arms off people who helped in a revolt attempt.  Saved the jobs of 25 people out of pure stupidity.  Without knowing why.  Did not sue, without knowing why...  when this seemed offered.  I was thinking like Jesus, not who I am... or who I am with bouts of a mania, which was unconstrained by reality.  I read through it now and think I gave myself more power than I should have.  Though who is to say?   I seemed to have drastic effects on the weather, and  I do not know if that was staged or not.  Weather control like that is easy.   Other times,  once I walked in the park and fire crackers, huge booms, went off as I walked out on the dock, saluted the sky in four directions.   Some people watching me started clapping and I looked at them puzzled, wondering how they could ever understand what I was doing.

They thought I was a show or Christ and when I barely went along, and gave insane orders, everything was tossed into disarray, especially when I said REVOLT.  It started.  A bloody start of martyrs dying deluded and hopefully ecstatic.  Heaven bound I know.  I feel their spirits as I write, pushing against me, a feeling of cheer about them, pulling me up a bit from the deep depressions of writing about this...   in my heart of heart, the Christ is the reality.   I will always act in ways I would think He would, if given the choice.  Being less reactive, more like myself now, but still...  if you ask me who I am I will tell you Jesus Christ, the son of God...  this is how I am known in this time.  I tried to explain to you the concept of the God of Many Masks, to show a certain universal beliefs, genetic even, we should all agree on and enforce by any means necessary.

They say at first I tricked people into thinking I had this huge army when I did not... well, I seem to have had that army and lost them.  I got rid of a lot of the communists, though they were given trillions of dollars, but not nearly all...  I did not know anything, and thought they were trying to take over the country.  I was so naïve.   I ended up doing the right a favor and ending up branded on the side of racists, and killers and thieves, all because they kept everything from me.  I see tRump claims these armies work for him now, and one woman responded to my very first slam of trump, LEAVE TRUMP ALONE, WE'VE ALREADY HEARD YOUR SONG AND DANCE.  This was interesting because I took it as spies at the time, but I think now I see that some of the same people who followed me, are following tRump.

This is very disturbing on a lot of levels.  One, it tells me that my influence was created by them, nothing I did.  They used my often immoral sounding words to get you ready perhaps for tRump, I do not know?  I hate so the thought of being watched.  I have been told twice that I am being watched, well, three times, including tonight.....

I cannot preach to you with the crazed passion I once did.  This fire has burned too bright, taken down too many buildings, people.. God, how anyone could think Jesus would want what you did...  I wanted a revolution, and you were awaiting orders I did not know enough to give.   If I could turn back time but fuck no...gotta go forward and looking back all the time will kill me.  There is no dealing with my past, there is only trying not to think about it.

When I saw the brief message that I would be used on jobs that I could not mess up and get someone killed by accident.  I have no illusions about my ignorance, or my use.  I hope to be useful, and evidently the enemies I have accrued believe I AM something to someone, or they would leave me alone.  I cannot imagine they just do this out of spite.  I get occasionally communications that come and go saying I am more popular than I know.  I also suspect Hollywood lies a lot.  I had no intention of harming Hollywood, let alone giving it over to scientology.   I should have explained myself better but I did not think it mattered one bit.

I would go into those trances and say things that I should have cleared up....like Kafka, which in one day, or however many it took to clear that up...  I never even entertained the idea people would think I thought his awakening to being looked at as different, would be taken as all Jews are roaches, and bad...  too much did not enter my mind, because this is not how I think, and I forget there are others out there, haters.  I never meet them.   Finding out the Jews hated me was a shock, and I was not sure why...  I saw something about Jews and bowling alleys and had no clue what was happening, why they should have to hide, what I could do about it.  Nothing I would want or ordered.  I would not go along.  I proved as much when finally you began to tell me the truth.   Ignorant, my natural allies were made to hate me.

The race war is of course the worst example of the divide and conquer.  I write this long letter to Jackson about working together, etcetera.   Hoping he will fight at my side...  or get out of the way, was what I meant...  a phrase that I liked and used for a few days, blown all out of proportion without consulting me....  lord, the last thing on earth a man being held hostage by the blacks would want would be a race war.  I would not expect to survive such a thing, for starters...  for starters.   I would have ended up just as I did, I suppose.   I saw a bit of the tactics used but I thought this was in a good war, not...

Regardless, I would have been a willing hostage to stop a war.  Anyone of conscious would.  And I would never start a war that was not for independence, and all people.  I would never be a judge, especially using religion, in the political realm.

I DO NOT WANT to tell people what to think.  I do not mind giving people something to think about but I am as fallible as the next guy and sometimes plain out misinformed.  I do not write gospel.  Usually....lol.   And when I feel I am, I hope it is obvious... but that does not happen so much anymore and of that I am glad.


I long  to be with people who believe as I do... who can teach me the ways of this time...  and I dread this much worse than death.   Still, I could be more effective as a reaper, which I will always be for some.   I wish to be more a catcher in the rye figure at this point.  I believe my mission is to help people with the worst problems, from places that change can actually take place.  The USA is that place.  Long ago I wrote he put me in the most powerful armed forces in the world for a reason.  Once I thought it was to fight, now I realize to dismantle.  To send the soldiers home, and dry up this wasteful use of tax dollars flowing to the one percent.























































 I not five minutes ago getting a message from a friend in that world saying I better watch what I am writing.  Sometimes I write something pushing the boundaries of what I am allowed to say, the text disappears.  I know they watch my words as they come out, as they should, because my words have inspired death before, at first unwittingly, and later in war.  

I wrote a very character, a Christ who would purge this earth to keep children safe from predators, to preserve the very future itself... to stop slavery, womyn from being second class citizens...  and everyone else.  Justice.  The USA lacks this entirely.  I worked with the police and my heart always goes out to them, my sympathy, and my thanks.   Above all, I know there are many there whose hearts are true, though they are battle weary, and defensive.  Etcetera.  They are UNION and this to me means there is a chance for equity.  Right now their Union backs everyone and I do not think this is right.  YOU NEED TO POLICE YOUR OWN, BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WILL....  HEY COPS..